| don't have one. |
[Aug. 6th, 2008|08:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
the bad: no job!
the good: road bike in sun, playing rockband, have fantastic pics from robert on facebook, and haven't been sleeping too much.
oh and in the process of getting nathan into Babylon 5. STNG for robert, anime for adam and now B5 for nathan. LOL if i do one thing per roommate then... |
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| graduation weekend and what nots |
[May. 26th, 2008|02:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
had my last final on thurs. somehow i didn't think the stats final would be that hard, but at least now it is over!! came home, went out to lunch with adam and robert then made some margaritas in celebration. we all sat around and talked.
Friday was a massive cleaning and some late night dumpster diving.
Sat was graduation. it rained. it only rained during the time i was going to graduate. i still can't make up my mind if it is better to be rained out or to be like last years in the broiling sun. Anyway i saw many old friends. AND JENNY!! i mean how many ppl get to graduate college with someone they have known since they were 5 yrs old?! It was also nice to see some of sandi's old ta's. I talked and then walked in with Matt, Mati and Meg. i love my mom. She saw how cold i was and tossed me an umbrella. Mati's never going to let me forget that. It was a perfect catch. and after all of the teasing about my lack of coordination. so there :P
So we finally get in and after like a min our dear (j/k) pres says "master's stand up. your now graduated. now bachelors stand up. your now graduated. you will receive your diploma in the mail." LOL!!! I do feel really bad for the ppl who cared about it. and i would have liked to hear the keynote speaker. and i would have liked my dad (who really does care) to be able to get the pic of me walking across the stage but other then that i don't really care. (except in that way of what is a ritual that markes a changing point in life)
I felt bad for everyone who came to see me. They were all so wet! but we had a good time (i think) i was reminded why i don't have parties anymore. i like being able to hang out with a few ppl and have a good conversation not bounce between ppl and never really be able to talk at all. Also with that many ppl my phobia of crowded places popped up. (Which just meant that i had to have the blinds open)
However it was really nice that everyone came. and i loved seeing everyone!! it is hard for me to get home-home and for a while it was like home-home came here to my home. :)!!! and i now have tons! of food. it was so fantastic to see ppl that i normally don't get to see!
After everyone left nathan came over and we talked then barefoot nathan and susanna came over. we all hung out for a while and then bf nathan and susanna left and mati came over. we went over to nathan's house and played rockband. or rather they played and i watched. then mati and i came back to my place. adam, robert and mike were drinking so we smoked the hookah with them and i drank. mati left and the the 4 of us stayed up late talking and laughing at old jokes on our last sat. together.
----- I need to post this but no one is allowed to mention that outside of this blog!!!!! seriously guys please don't get me in trouble with robert, i just need to gush! robert introduced mike to his grandparents. yay! and aww at the same time. (robert is moving away at the end of this week) he has finally found someone! but only to move away.
Today i saw Indiana jones and then 6 of us hung out and played games. tomorrow is scandia and games. oh and kyle and katie are almost moved into their new place! :) |
|
|
| speed racer (no spoilers) |
[May. 12th, 2008|06:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stessed | ] |
i don't know if it was good or bad. parts were each. it has a lot of the newest type of film thing, flashing lights. no one with epilepsy should even get close to this film. The end feeling is like getting off a roller coaster. Not the emotional kind, but the great America kind. Huge adrenaline rush. (it made everyone very up). but the actual content of the movie, like character development and dialog, well not so much.
I liked how they translated the original animation into computer animation that resembles the original. (Even if it was lost on most of us who saw it)
OMG about to have one of my last classes!! |
|
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| puzzle |
[Apr. 7th, 2008|12:56 am] |
went on the puzzle thing in santa rosa. fun times! we had a list of 16 haiku clues of places that we had to find and then a megaclue. we also had an answer sheet with 300 possible answers on it. a clue might be something like; a shingle flower, rodent with dripping red, three wooden numbers? (not the exact thing, but..)
the answer was a house at the corner of beaver st and cherry st with a rose shape made out of shingles. the address was in wooden numbers.
It was tons of fun, although we got some of them wrong and didn't have a clue on a few. But then again it is not like we knew the area extensively. I mean who would have known that "heavenly ramen" was the name of a mural and not "sushi to dia for". btw their sushi is meh and they are way over-prised!
the sad part..
as we were searching in the park a women hit her head and started having seizures. The guy who was there with her didn't know much and he said so. He asked me to take over. As I think about it, what i did was stupid. He had her in a partial rescue position and i had him put her in a full rescue position. later on someone handed over some towels and he put them under her head. The first rule when dealing with a major head/neck injury is DON"T MOVE THE HEAD!! I've had that drummed into me since i was 16 and what is the first thing i do, move her head! damn!! I hope i didn't cause her any more brain damage then she already had. (i'm sure she prob. has some from the way thins were looking) i don't think that i did but i don't know. stupid thing to have done!! i suppose this shows that i do need to retake my cpr classes. At least i didn't have to do cpr. he wanted to, but i said that she was breathing. |
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|
| fog |
[Nov. 7th, 2007|12:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
is cool! i love that soupy fog we get up here. I never had it in the south bay, but up here it is fantastic! |
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|
| the best way to end the year! |
[Dec. 31st, 2006|04:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
Eirn's b-day party. what a great last moment thing to happen. i've missed being out of contact with her. it's so funny that the girl that i used to play unicorns with is now 23. I wish i could help her with the problems she is facing, but only she can do it. at least she has her b/f and others to help her. between Tori and this last time she is having problems getting into cars. the fear takes hold and....
but tonight was great. everyone was back together, but with out the pretend and drama of old. It was just us with all of the new b/f-g/f, the past was left to itself.
but not all of the past. we still tend to curl up in one big ball. a sensual ball of love. (no sexual feelings except between b/f-g/f!) i miss those old times, though not the rest of it. |
|
|
| ethics? read this and think |
[Nov. 27th, 2006|02:21 am] |
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/11/22/60minutes/main2205629.shtml
watch/read this!
this pill could take away a lot of pain. I have no problem with that side of the ethical argument. We give people stuff for pain everyday. It doesn't make the incident go away, only the emotional attachment to it. My brother doesn't respond to morphine, so when he broke both of his arms they had to give him something (not this pill) so that later he wouldn't remember the pain. If we can do it in the hospital then why not out of it?
my problem with this drug is when the military gets control of it. Is it ethical to remove someone’s emotional attachment to the memory of killing another human being? Even if they are fighting "for us" i don't think i can justify this.
this is already out on the market. It is being used for stage fright and high blood pressure (lol, so was Viagra before they found out the "side-effects")
i don't know what to make of this story, except that i hope that it doesn't turn into a "brave new world" |
|
|
| all destressed for the moment |
[Sep. 1st, 2006|01:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | grateful | ] |
i went to KJ's tonight to have some fun and let some of the stress escape. I had so much fun! It was a combination of line dancing with some free style and what not. Thanks so much Lovinia!! We ran into Lori, Brian, and Anne. Some of the good ol' TA's. (K, so that TA semester had a bit too much yelling and ppl ready to kill each other over personality differences, and NO class should be taught in Warren, but SOME of the time it was good) (yay for post-ta meeting smoke-outs!)
This last week has been a mess. I've been PMS hardcore. That on top of me not being able to get my books until tuesday. my house is not packed and i'm moving in 7 days! I've been trying not to randomly explode at anyone for no reason, but with everything so wound up i came close. I can't wait until this moving thing is a distant memory and i can get back to working on my 19 units worth of homework. (yeah, it some how went from 15 to 19) I added an interesting psych of family class that i didn't want to drop. I think it will be a good look at some of the issues that come up.
now that i'm all unstressed i can finally get a good nights worth of sleep and feel good tomorrow! |
|
|
| a moment of silence. |
[Aug. 23rd, 2006|01:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
this is to the cat that prob. got run over by a car. he is dead out on my front lawn. he was a good cat who would always ask for pets when i was outside talking on my cell or just sitting on the grass. may he rest in pease and have many mice to play with! |
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| so everyone knows... |
[Jul. 20th, 2006|03:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  moody | ] |
life right now is upside down. i either have to laugh at the universe or cry or some of both. right now i'm wound up so tight that i feel like i want to burst. I want to swim a mile to get rid of this feeling and yet have no energy.
my grandpa finally got out of the hospital on sunday. He now can barely walk or get around, but he is no longer 75 pounds. He's back to being as stubborn as normal, which is driving my parents nuts. he will only accept the bare minimum of help from outside ppl. I understand that feeling, but i think my grandparents could really use it.
work is long, time consuming, and tiring. i hate it, but it is only for another few weeks.
my cat is prob. going to die. she's very, very sick. all i can do is curl up with my teddy bear and cry until i have no more tears to shed. I can't do anything, i can't even hold her because i'm up here. i don't know which is worse, having her die now or having to make the disition to put her to sleep later. It hurts so much!! she got me though so of the hardest years of my life when all i wanted to do was die. she would purr me to sleep |
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|
| update |
[Jun. 20th, 2006|10:33 pm] |
i now have a job! well i've had a job for almost 2 weeks. i paint the inside of the dorms at ssu. it's a little boring, but it does have some great things about it. it will pay for my rent, and give me good work experience. the bad part is that i have to be up at 6:20 am!! eww! and it is 40 hrs a week, so i don't have much time for anything else. In fact all i seem to be doing lately is getting up, going to work, eating dinner, having a little decompress time and then going to bed. only to wake up and do it all again.
i went home to see my family. my baby bro is on his way to college at Davis with a little stop in Europe first for 2 weeks. yay! |
|
|
| update |
[Jun. 8th, 2006|06:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
first the sad stuff:
both sets of my grandparents are getting older. I have this love/hate thing with the fact that my mom is in the medical field and can therefore sit and talk about all of this with out any emotions at all. My grandpa Bob is going to have a hip-replacement, and tested positive for something that will eventually turn into incurable cancer. (something to do with the blood cells, i think) It is hard for me to see the guy who would wake up at 5am (yeah that's where the damn morning ppl get it from) and jog about 5k, then later on run about 10k. He would normally run the bay to breakers no problem. Now he can't even walk at a normal speed and somewhat limps in pain. It breaks my heart!!
Tomas' cat pounce is doing much better. We all thought that he would die. He still is needing to be force feed and given iv injections, which is worrisome because when a cats kidney's shut down they forget how to eat and then stop eating all together. But i think he just might make it.
now on the lighter side of things:
both of my bros are going to Davis. Yay! we can see each other. granted the esiest way might be to go down to santa clara. (the express train goes from Sacramento to san jose, with a stop in santa clara, so it's perfect for both of them) Tomas might need to find an apartment, but i think he'll do it somehow.
I LOVE PUBLIC TRANSPOTATION!
at least in some ways. Granted i hate that it takes me 6 to 8 hrs to do a 2-3 hr car ride. And i will be complaining about that all summer! but i love the people watching. On caltrain i met this great woman who showed me all of her cute grandkids. After she left i got about an hour of sleep b/4 SF! I saw some interesting ppl on the bus. One guy was trying to be all cool and everything, and one girl was a total hippy. it was a great trip!
the river rafting trip got canceled, but it meant that i got to spend longer with my family and friends. |
|
|
| best beach party! |
[Jun. 1st, 2006|03:16 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
tonight was Tom's b-day party. I though i wasn't going to be able to go, the whole no car thing) but Tania called me and gave me a ride. It was great! food, friends, beer b(evben if it is icky!) all the things of the beach. It was a late night thing and by the time we left it was almost 1am. So many ppl came by that i hadn't seen in so long. LOL my apartment manager even came by (he's a friend of Toms) Poor robert had only about 1 1/2 hrs of sleep b/4 work, but at least we got to have fun. I think that over the summer we need to have a fire out on the beach. At the one we were at it is leagal to have a fire and be there after midnight. it would be so kool! |
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| end of it all! |
[May. 26th, 2006|12:21 pm] |
so here it is the last day of the semester! and i'm bi-polarizing about it!
the good: NO MORE CLASSES. i have a bit of a final left to go, but that's all!! i now get a week off b/4 setting out on my journey to find out what i want to do with myself after college. and i get to see what kool stuff is being tossed. There was even a good couch yesterday!
bad: pp are leaving. at least this time i'm staying up here, but i hate that feeling! it's the end of another year.
so the highs and lows are setting in. but i think this year it's not soo bad.
Summer is going to rock! the 21st b-days are rolling in and soon we can all go bar hopping!
I'm going down class 4 rapids in a week! i won't get to be at sandi's last packing party, but i'll get to see the family!
i then have to find a job. i haven't had to look for a job in like 5 years. i think i might try to be a lifeguard up here or something.
luck to all! |
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|
| because i'm so tired that i can't sleep! |
[May. 17th, 2006|01:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | exhausted | ] |
98 Have You Evers..
1. Made out for more than 3 minutes?:
yeah
2. Slept in a different bed?:
yes, many a time!
3. Made out in a movie theatre?:
No
4. Made out in the forest?
no
5. Thought your cousin was hot?:
yeah, had a huge crush. Too bad he was/is gay
7. Slept naked?
all the time. Clothing sucks!
8. Taken a shower with the opposite sex?:
yeah, with the bros. not for a while though
9. Gone over the speed limit?:
course. Who hasn’t?
12. Danced in front of your mirror?:
danced, sang, all in front of the mirror.
13. Gotten a hickey?:
yeah. I can laugh now, kinda. I had an important even to go to and had to use cover up. All I can say is never getting that drunk again!
14. Been dumped?:
no
15. Stolen money from a friend?:
define “stolen” I’ve “borrowed” money from Robert without telling him, but he does the same when it’s laundry time.
16. Gotten in a car with people you just met?:
yeah, not too much anymore. In high school sometimes, but mommy was with us most of the time.
17. gotten in a fist fight?:
used to with the bros all the time. Now just play around with Robert.
18. Snuck out of your house?
tried to once for giggles, failed and then said where I was going. With no curfew it was had to try and sneak out instead of just saying where I was going and leaving.
19. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
Of course, hasn’t everyone?
20. Been arrested?:
Nope
22. Left your house with out telling your parents?:
didn’t have to tell. So yeah.
23. Had a crush on your neighbor?:
no kids around
24. Ditched school to do something more fun?:
Yep! But only if my grade can take it.
25. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?:
all the time. When ever I go somewhere and it’s more convenient then no worries. Hotel beds cost a lot!
26. Seen someone die?:
nope
27. Been on a plane?:
Yes, so many times that I can’t count.
28. Kissed a picture?:
nope.
29. Slept in until 3?:
it’s me..so yeah.
30. Love someone or miss someone right now?:
yeah, lots of ppl.
31. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
all the time
32. Made a snow angel?:
every time I’m in the snow!
33. Played dress up?
of course
34. Cheated while playing a game?
maybe, not recently.
35. Feel lonely?
yeah, It’s late and I can’t sleep, so yeah.
36. Fallen asleep at work/school?
all the time.
38. Felt an earthquake?:
yep, it’s California
39. Touched a snake?:
yep, snakes are cute!
40. Ran a red light?:
not on purpose
42. Had detention?:
ONE TIME!! That was it! I was the “good girl”
43. Been in a car accident?:
yeah, a few minor ones and a few not so. But I’ve never crashed!
44. Hated the way you look?:
of course
45. Witnessed a crime?
yep!
46. Been lost?
all the time! I can normally be ok with a map, but don’t ask me for directtions
47. Been to the opposite side of the country?:
yep!
48. Felt like dying from embarrassment?:
oh yeah!
49. Cried yourself to sleep?:
yeah.
50. Sang karaoke?
yep, good ol’ Saturday nights!
51. Done something you told yourself you told yourself you wouldn't?
yep!
52. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose?
or in my case up the nose and down the lungs.
53. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?:
yep!
54. Kissed in the rain?:
nope
55. Sung in the shower?:
I have, but I don’t
56. Had a dream that you married someone?:
yeah, but I think I was a guy.
57. Glued your hand to something sticky?
my other hand.
58. Got your tongue stuck to a pole?:
nope
59. Ever gone to school practically naked?
no
60. Been a cheerleader?
not in that official capacity.
61. Sat on a roof top?:
yep, and watched the Great America fireworks!.
62. Didn't take a shower for a week?:
camping. No big deal!.
63. Ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?
nope.
64. Ever played truth or dare?:
oh yeah. Spoons!!!
65. Played spin the bottle:
no, but I’ve played strip poker.
66. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger?
kinda.
68. Been easily amused?:
that’s what I am
69. Laugh so hard you cry?
once
70. Cheated on a test?
in eighth grade. It was bad, and I’ve never done it again.
71. Forgotten someone's name?:
yeah, I can do faces. But names?!
72. blacked out from drinking?:
kinda
73. Played a prank on someone?:
yep
74. Gone to a late night movie?:
yeah, damn this town and the 10pm movies!
75. Made love to anything not human?:
nope.
76. Failed a class?:
yeah, calc 2
77. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat?:
nope
78. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours straight?:
nope
79. Slept with someone you didn't want to?:
…………………
80. Did you celebrate the 4th of July?
yeah!
81. Thrown strange objects at people?
yeah
82. Felt like killing someone?
thought about it.
84. Thought about running away?:
Yep, tried it once too.
85. Had detention and not attend it?:
kinda, I got off because I brought cans for the food drive.
86. Made your parents cry?
yeah
87. Cried over someone?:
yeah!
88. talked to someone on the phone for 5 straight hours?
nope
89. Dated someone more than once?:
the whole relationship thingy.
90. Have a dog?
no
91. Own an instrument?:
nope
92. Been in a band?
nope.
93. DranK more than 25 sodas a day?:
nope!
94. Broken a cd?:
stepped on it.
95. Shot a gun?:
the nerf wars of old.
96. been on MySpace for more than 5 hours?
umm
97. Hurt yourself on purpose?:
yeah
98. Had a crush on someone when you already had a bf/gf
uhh, the whole relationship thing. |
|
|
| quiz |
[May. 8th, 2006|03:26 am] |
this may seem good but it's not. In fact it is VERY bad! the test is mostly comprised of SAT type questions, so yeah i can test well. Sorry to those who can't. Also I can see through most of the questions.
but overall interesting test. |
|
|
| update |
[Apr. 9th, 2006|05:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lazy | ] |
so here it is a week before spring break. I have to say that i hate it when profs assign hw to be done right before spring break (so that we don't have to do it during..) i'd rather do hw during the break then have to be stressed out right before it.
I'm having a party on wed of spring break so anyone who wants to come is welcome. drinkers, non-drinkers, we'll have a great time!
Life has been interesting of late. Sometimes that is good, and sometimes i feel like i want to kill someone!! i re-started the birth control pills. At the moment they are making me bi-polarize like crazy! there is nothing worse then that!
All of the cat's around here have spring fever and have been mowing all the time. Sometimes it is a reminder of home, and sometimes i wish they'd shut up and let me sleep!
i'm worried. with everyone being forced to move off campus (soo stupid!!) rent is going to go up. I don't want to move, but if it goes up high enough then we will have to.
this month is a mix of good times and bad.
the 25th is the day when Tori died. it is also take back the night, i want to go to it, but i have class. If i call ppl in tears now you know why.
but then there are 2 21st b-days coming up! yay!! we are going to have to go along the Cotati crawl one of these days!
there are two projects that i am working on: 1)get the women's resource center back!!! 2)get a tipsy taxi service going. if anyone is interested in either then contact me!
and here's a song
The dreamers dream
And the birds sing
We meet under the full moon
And Life goes on
Life goes on,
Life goes on
Lovers come and dance
life goes on
We fight for what’s right
Long into the night
We sleep under the half moon
And Life goes on
Loneliness goes on
Loneliness goes on
Lovers lie and cheat
Life goes on
The innocents is lost
With this great frost
We part under the new moon
And life goes on
Pain goes on
Pain goes on
Lovers cry and leave
Life goes on
The friendship is made
As fast as a blade
We meet in the rain
And the heart goes on |
|
|
| great trip |
[Feb. 9th, 2006|05:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  embarrassed | ] |
My Saturday (a trip)
I have touched insanity
Held it
In the palm of my hand
Watched it drip down
Slide across the carpet
To join the dancing TV
The white light pours
Out of my stomach
Fills me with
Fuzzy power
I float
In some alternative dimension
The cycle flows
Like the waves
That are cresting
In time
And it is
Getting weird over here
The rubber guy
Tosses the bicycle
Tires up in the air
And catches the time molecules
On his tongue
I try to communicate
With the people
Who live in the city
On the ceiling
But my words
Are insufficient
To describe my reality
And the wave comes
Dejevue sets in
The cycle repeats
And it is getting weird over here
The taist in the back of
My mouth is odd
It feels like I am bubbles
On the inside and outside
Time stops
Then shatters
I can’t stop laughing
My mouth keeps smiling
I look at our shared reality
Decide that I am going
Insane
And that’s ok
I’m happy
In this alternative place
Looking back out ours
It is a weird dimension
A weird reality
So I’m good
To watch the walls melt
To exist in this other place
to have the waves come
and the cycles repeat
And it is getting weird over here |
|
|
| ups and downs! |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|01:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
been a while since i updated..
Carpintaria reservations were horrible!! we finally got 2 though and hopefully i won't be the only girl this time! i was sad to see tomas leave back for college. my b-day was kool. i thought i was going to go to sleep but on the night of the 2nd sarah called me and we went to the bowling ally. at midnight she bought me my first legal drink. (Smirnoff twist orange thing..i had to drive home)
my b-day was crazy..cat to the vet, last min gifts..and my dad had to go into urgent care for his back..(hope everyone is feeling much better right now!!) my aunt and uncle came down and we all went out for dinner. the only bad thing was i didn't get carded at all...not even at safeway!!
the parties up here were great! thanks everyone for all of the gifts! i had a great time playing the drinking games and talking to everyone!
had to say goodbye to mati..i miss him already! (watch out for Iran...they aren't too happy with Israel and started up their nuke. program again) and the new Zealand for a year. said goodbye to Kristen (sp?)
there is mold in robert's bedroom..the apartment ppls told us to air it out and wait..but who knows what is going to happen to it.
i wish that there was something i could do for someone who is in a lot of pain right now. i know that i can't but i want to. I love you, and everything will be alright.
i love my class! it is so cool!! we get to study all of the ppls Freud, jung, Rogers, maslow..and then come up with our own thing on personality! |
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